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Greg Giraldo Quotes

American stand-up comedian, television personality, insult comic


Greg Giraldo is also a former lawyer. Giraldo was a regular on Comedy Central's television series Lewis Black's Root of All Evil.

Greg Giraldo Info

Date of BirthDecember 10, 1965
Place of BirthNew York City, New York, U.S.
GenresObservational comedy, Black comedy, Surreal humor, Roast Comedian
MediumStand-up, Television
Subject(s)current events, everyday life, self-deprecation, marriage, parenting
Notable works and rolesTough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Stand-Up Nation with Greg Giraldo, Comedy Central Roasts, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil
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 [The video] seems crazy ... oversexualizing children in a way. She's not a child; she's 17. But it's like that other young girl that is so popular Justin Bieber, 
— Greg Giraldo thinks Justin Bieber is a girl, while talking about Miley Cyrus' new video Can't Be Tamed / May 08, 2010
 My house is on fire... marshmallows! 
— Greg Giraldo
 Yeah, I'll take lettuce... tomato... and- I'm sorry, did you just put your balls in my sandwich? 
— Greg Giraldo
 Mayday, mayday, we're overwhelmed by Hispanics. 
— Greg Giraldo on Race
 We used to get in fights because I'm an idiot! 
— Greg Giraldo on Marriage
Related Quotes: Marriage

 When I mas****ate I fantasize about having my own apartment. I used to think about Cindy Crawford now I think about leaving a dish in the sink overnight. 
— Greg Giraldo
 The great obesity edpidemic of the year 2000. 
— Greg Giraldo on Obesity
 If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds." 
— Greg Giraldo on Politics
Related Quotes: Politics