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David Letterman Quotes

American television host, comedian, and co-owner of Rahal Letterman Racing.


David Letterman is best known as the host of the Late Show with David Letterman, a late-night talk show broadcast on CBS

David Letterman Info

Birth nameDavid Michael Letterman
Date of BirthApril 12, 1947
Place of BirthIndianapolis, Indiana, United States
Spouse (s)Michelle Cook (1969–1977), Regina Lasko (since 2009)
GenresObservational comedy, surreal humor, deadpan
Years active1974 - Present
PseudonymEarl Hofert
MediumStand-up, talk show
Subject(s)Self-deprecation, everyday life
InfluencesSteve Allen, Johnny Carson, Jack Paar, Paul Dixon
InfluencedJimmy Kimmel, Jim Gaffigan, Jon Stewart, Conan O'Brien
Notable works and rolesHost of Late Night with David Letterman (NBC), Host of Late Show with David Letterman (CBS)
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 Last week I did a thing on the Grammys with a Top 10 list. There was a Lindsay Lohan joke about her stealing a Grammy Award. The next day, I got a call from a guy who said, 'Lindsay thought the joke was hilarious! She wants to be on your show!'. I said, 'Great!' I called publicity and said, 'Get the press release out immediately!' It went around the world. People said, 'Are you kidding me?! This will be fantastic! This will be like the Super Bowl'... and then Lindsay Lohan says none of this is happening. 
— David Letterman explaining the announcement that Lindsay Lohan will appear in David Letterman show / February 17, 2011
 It turns out I was duped. I have no-one to blame but myself and boy is my face red... Now I need to apologise to the Lindsay Lohan family. I hope I didn't embarrass you and your family. 
— David Letterman joking about the confusion that Lindsay Lohan would appear on Letterman show / February 17, 2011
 Because you think an explosion has taken place and you're looking at the shards and you say, 'Well, can we put this back together?' And by God, maybe you can put it back together. And maybe it won't be the same, but maybe it will be different, and maybe it can even be better in a different way. 
— David Letterman on his marriage / April 30, 2010
 It was stupid behavior. And you take a look at the explosion, and it knocks you down and you wake up every morning and you're scared and you're depressed and sad, and you kind of got to let that knock you down and knock you down. 
— David Letterman on his mistakes and the toll it had on his family / April 30, 2010
 And so right now, that's what we're doing, we're putting the thing back together to see what it's going to look like. And is it viable? Is it something that can be satisfying and fulfilling? 
— David Letterman is hopeful of better days in the future / April 30, 2010

 I've had nothing but great friendship to help me through this. 
— David Letterman expressing gratitude for the support he received during troubled times / April 30, 2010
 I loved it, I thought it was very exciting. It was great fun. I love Jay summing the whole thing up — ‘Yeah, well, we both got screwed’. I said, ‘No, wait a minute Jay, you both got screwed yet you’re the only one who ended up with a show. How did you get screwed, exactly?’ 
— David Letterman liked his show / April 28, 2010
 I'm still here. I knocked off another competitor. 
— David Letterman joking about Jay Leno's departure from The Tonight Show, on Late Show / June 2009
Related Quotes: Jay LenoTonight Show
 It was me, it was my son, it was Regina and the justice of the peace, and that was it 
— David Letterman answering to questions by Julia Roberts about his secret marriage to Regina / June 2009