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Chelsea Handler Quotes

American stand-up comedian, humorist, television host, actress, model, and best-selling author


Chelsea Joy Handler has her own late night talk show Chelsea Lately on the E! Cable Television Network. In 2009 she won a Bravo A-List Award. She also has her own column in Cosmopolitan and the UK celebrity magazine NOW.

Chelsea Handler Info

Birth nameChelsea Joy Handler
Date of BirthFebruary 25, 1975
Place of BirthLivingston, New Jersey, U.S.
Years active1996–present
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 My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin. That everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not going to do it' and they're like, 'Oh well forget it - then I don't want to date you'. They think they're going to have sex with her and every guy thinks - just like when they date a lesbian, they think they're going to turn them straight - every guy thinks they're going to devirginise her and they're not. She's never going to get devirginised, ever ever ever ever ever. 
— Chelsea Handler on why she thinks Taylor Swift dates a lot of women / March 07, 2013
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 Besides both of us being the youngest of big families, both being from New Jersey, and both of us coming from multiple religious backgrounds, she's salty and sexy. She's got the right attitude and, as far as we know, she's not pregnant. 
— Chelsea Handler saying she is pleased that Laura Prepon will play her in a new NBC pilot / February 18, 2011
 Everyone, calm down. I met with mr. Cent about a potential project. There’s nothing to report yet, ill let you know if there is. 
— Chelsea Handler setting the record straight on her twitter page that she is not dating 50 cent / October 06, 2010
 I have a BB gun and a water gun in case things get hectic. I wouldn’t put it past Kanye to run up on stage and interrupt me, but good luck with that. 
— Chelsea Handler joking that she is ready to face Kanye West if the later storms the stage at MTV Video Music Awards / September 12, 2010
 I will probably have s*x with Eminem after the show is over. Probably — I don’t see why I wouldn’t. I’m fair game, it’s not like I’m that picky — you’ve seen the guys I’ve dated. I like Swizz Beatz, just because I would like to yell out in bed, ‘Swizz Beatz! Keep it coming!’ 
— Chelsea Handler joking that she is ready to hook up with someone after the MTV Video Music Awards / September 12, 2010